What is the “V” in L.O.V.E.

This simple yet complex symbol is derived from yin and yang balance concept yet uses a form that highlights the distinct entity of both sides. The eyes and shape of each sides represents minnows that eventually swim away from their habitat as they become fish yet return at the end of their lives to their place of origin to complete the circle of life that is reflected in the circular shape they form. The lives of the minnows echo the migration of diverse peoples to different places to form this myriad of intertwined yet distinct cultures we call planet earth represented in the circular form.

“There can be no TRUTH without l.o.v.e.”

We all want to love and be loved to some extent.

So in times when we feel love has left our lives for a brief moment, we wonder what’s wrong.

Why can’t I love ? Why can’t anyone love me ?

More often than not, I find that it’s not a question of love but rather a question of “trust”.

For underlying all interactions of receiving and giving love is the ability to trust and be trusted.

Unlike love that is based on a connection outside our control,

Trust is not granted, it doesn’t just pop up - it doesn’t just appear.

For trust is earned and needs to be embraced before it is real.

The issue is that we are all skeptical to some extent and we need to be.

Many of us have learned the hard way when we trusted without reservation - 

when we gave ourselves to someone else only to kick ourselves for not being more conservative with our trust.

I may have been born into a loving home with amazing siblings and parents yet it didn’t take me long to realize 

that I needed to test everyone before trusting.

So to trust another before receiving their love we must first “validate” their love for us.

That’s the next pivotal step in our ability to L.O.V.E., the “V” stands for “Validate”.

For it is in the validation of our love for another or their love for us that the gates can be truly opened and love can flow through.

Listening and observing is only the attempt to reach out for or accept love. It is the validation that provides the recognition of that love.

It is through validation that we show the other that we got it - we understood - we are there emotionally and mentally with them -

And in so doing prove to them that they are not alone.

What is “V” for “Validate” ? What does that mean ? How do we “Validate” our love.

That’s both simple yet complex.

“Validation” first involves recognition, this can be communicated through non-verbal means, “Holding their hands at the right time”, “Showing your emotions without overwhelming them” or simply “reacting appropriately at the appropriate times”.

This is not easy, then again, no one ever said love was easy.

To validate that you are there.

To validate you understand.

To validate you fully comprehend.

To validate that you recognize their experience.

To validate that you can handle their pain.

To validate that you can be strong in their weakest moment.

To validate that you love them above all.

It’s a test you must pass, in many cases, many many times before they will open the gates and let you in.

It’s a test you must give, it’s a bar you must set in order to accept love.

For the higher the bar, the sturdier the gate, the higher the quality of love that will enter your life.

To love freely and without reservation is beautiful and true - for the more you love, the greater the cavity you have to receive love.

The more gates you open, the more trust you earn, the better you become at recognizing and accepting love yourself.

That is the key to love - you get the love you give to the world.

So if you ever find that the bar is set too high, or the gate too daunting, remember that when you persevere the “Validation” stage you will succeed - 

and when you succeed you will become more capable of accepting a higher quality, a purer form of love in your life.

The challenge is in the “V”. The “Validation” in L.O.V.E.