What is the “O” in L.O.V.E.

This derivation of the circle of life incorporates instead the completeness that is formed in a community that is made up of many different entities with different colors representing their diversity. This intertwining set of lives creates a new entity We call communities that has a color of its own distinct yet still made up of who we are

“There can be no TRUTH without l.o.v.e.”

Sometimes our greatest speeches, our most vocal stances, our most emphatic messages are communicated without a single word.

They are instead expressed through our actions and in actions.

It’s no secret that most of the conversations we will have in our lives will live in our heads - in our thoughts and inner perspectives.

We think all the time about anything that draws our attention. 

So it comes with no surprise that learning to “Listen” to others will only give us a small peek into their world.

The bulk of the messages they will convey lies in the wordless speak of their actions.

That is why, when I studied love, I became very interested in observing the actions before, during and after listening to another.

To that end, the second phase for L.O.V.E. is “O” for “Observe”.

It wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I started to pay attention to body language, to the visible yet unmentionable actions that made up a conversation or the effects thereafter.

When, I did, when I pierced that veil, I entered a new world I had never seen before despite it being right in front of my eyes.

I realized how I was inadvertently hurting those I loved through simply focusing on “Listening” and dismissing the “unspeakable”.

My children and then my wife constantly told me “Malik, you’re not listening to me” - “Malik, you’re not getting it” - “Malik, pay attention!”.

So I listened harder, rid my mind of any thoughts, paid full attention to every word, every syllable.

Yet still - I didn’t get it. 

I was useless and they began giving up on me - I was no support at all despite my best efforts to “Listen”.

Surprisingly, the messages were always there, yet it wasn’t found in their verbage, it could not be communicated with their voice.

It was too subtle, too esoteric, too complex for words.

Yet it was there - they were speaking to me all along.

I just wasn’t observing them.

To listen without hearing.

To understand without needing words.

To fully comprehend the intangible.

To recognize the subtle.

To observe the indelible actions that cry out to be heard.

I must admit, this was hard, it wasn’t easy figuring out how their actions, their body language, when they spoke, when they didn’t speak, all led to the most profound learnings.

Learning to “Observe” became intricately mixed up in my ability to love.

That’s why the “O” for “Observe” in our ability to apply the L.O.V.E. algorithm is so essential 

- without it, we will be forever limited to understanding only part of the message.